How to Blog about Asia
- Calvin Stevens
- 6 days ago
- 4 min read
A white man’s guide to blogging your trip through Asia in 2025.
So, you want to be the Marco Polo of the 21st century, eh?
Well, you’ve come to the right place. In fact, my advice is going to be so useful you won’t even need to go to Asia at all! Why not just blog about it from the comfort of your own home?
Before we begin, I’m assuming you mean Asia Asia, right?
Perfect!
We all know that Asia comprises of three countries — China, Japan, and South Korea.
India and the Middle East aren’t really in Asia; they’re separate continents and therefore don’t fall part of your “Asia Trip”.
Then there’s places like Vietnam (China-lite), Thailand (Taiwan?) and, uh, all those other countries which don’t really matter because you’ve never come across them on the Internet before.
But that’s alright, because nobody else has heard of them either!
The Dream
To begin, you want to open your blog by stating your long-held dream of traveling to Asia (you’ve pictured it clearly, in all its exotic forms, since you exited your mother’s womb) and how, after waiting so long, you finally took a leap of faith, went against everyone else’s warnings (emphasize your courageousness here), and decided to enter a world utterly alien to your own.
Impressions
Now, as per your first impressions, you’re going to want to write about the (shocking) feeling of being constantly stared at. Remember, you’re a celebrity here; if you’re black or white, you want to iterate how you’re the first person of your race that the locals have ever seen.
Big big bigly big big
Along with being constantly stared at, your own eyes must be trained on the big, huge, massive, ginormous, LOOMING, cities — naturally, Tokyo, Beijing, Shanghai, Hong Kong, and Seoul are your prime (and only) targets.
Don’t forget to describe these cities as being “futuristic”, “advanced”, “cyberpunk-like” but, most importantly, “dystopian”. You don’t want to give them too much credit.
Things to compare with your own country: subways, airports, parks, roads, and anything automated, really.
Just act like you’re a time-traveler from the 19th century.
The people
The Chinese are friendly. Learn the magic word(s) “ni hao” and boast about how the locals praise you like a god (even though you’ll never learn a word beyond that). As a counterpoint to show that you care, use phrases like “despite their smiles, a faint glimmer lingers in their eyes that yearns for Western democracy and freedom”.
Do not elaborate further.
The Japanese, meanwhile, are more introverted. Use the words “respectful”, “honor”, and “organized” at every point you get. In every scenario, make sure you bring up just how efficient and kind they were. Remember, rude Japanese don’t exist.
Koreans… well, they’re just a mix between the two, really. I mean, South Korea is halfway between Japan and China anyway, right?
Things to take pictures of
Random signage in Hanzi, Kanji, Hiragana, or Hangul (it doesn’t matter if you can’t read it either; its for the aesthetics).
The Great Wall.
Cherry blossoms.
Marketplaces.
Tea shops.
Trains.
Temples.
Buddhist monks, preferably meditating or performing kung fu.
Random women wearing kimonos (they must be wearing them for the leering eyes of tourists such as yourself; kimonos, or any “Asian-style” clothing, are obviously traditional and thus come from a bygone era, so surely people only wear them for your gaze as part of a cultural performance).
Food and manners
Talk about noodles, kimchi, and sushi.
Rave about chopsticks and how you would LOVE to use them everyday (not that you will).
Bow. Lots of bowing. Want to thank someone? Bow. Want to say hello? Bow. Goodbye? Also a bow. Apologize… you’ll never guess what to do.
But hold back the temptation to say “namaste”. Save that one for your India trip which, although you keep saying is on your bucket list, will never materialize.
Crafting an authentic story
Most important, perhaps, is that you sell your story as authentic.
When it comes to Asia, all you have to do is talk about the mishaps and miscommunications you experienced. After all, their culture is so different to yours it’s like talking to aliens.
Perhaps words were lost in translation, your etiquette was incorrect, or you encountered the illusive “cultural barrier” — whatever it was (or was not), use this as an opportunity to display the authenticity, the genuineness, of your trip.
These make for great anecdotes and philosophical ramblings.
Finally, to conclude, you want to impart a bit of wisdom unto your readers; show them that you are an educated, well-read individual.
End on a quote containing ancient Chinese wisdom (in English) by a famous philosopher or sage like Confucius, Lao Tzu, or Sun Tzu.
When in doubt, just ask ChatGPT or, better yet, DeepSeek.
“Quit, don’t quit. Noodles, don’t noodles” — Master Oogway
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